on my shelf

my latest passion is collecting odds and ends...bone china, porcelain, ironstone....bits and pieces of mismatched pottery. i love 'antiques roadshow' but i am certain that nothing i own is a national treasure...no civil war memorabilia, no navajo rug worth a fortune, no small painting that, once properly and professionally cleaned, reveals itself to be a masterpiece. but i am learning about roseville pottery and homer laughlin china. remember fiestaware dishes....those brightly colored plates and bowls?  homer laughlin created fiestaware.

i have a pair of white poodle figurines that my aunt ruth gave me before she died. i have a history with them. in 1962, while the boston strangler was terrorizing boston, i sat on the floor in the apartment ruth shared with my nana metcalf on anderson street in boston and played with those dogs. i remember the blue parakeet, buddy, who chatted from his cage. i remember the carpet. the door that was securely locked. the view from the window of the small courtyard below.

on  july 13th, which was a friday, as i played happily with those dogs and a barbie doll or two, the telephone rang. my grandmother answered. i think she began to cry. it was my sister calling from west bridgewater. my brother, a.j., had been hit by a car.  ruth came home from work early and we drove silently to my house. that scene is now a blur of images to me....a small house overflowing with relatives. adults crying. knowing that something was terribly wrong but not being able, at 8 years old, to understand what.  i was afraid. my mother was in pain, my mother was sobbing, and that frightened me. my aunt barbara took my brother ronn and me away to a cabin in new hampshire that night. a vacation with my 7 cousins. a few days later, i learned that a.j. had died.

on close examination of the poodles, i see that one has a chip at the base. i might have chipped it playing but i don't remember. i recently researched them and learned that they are staffordshire china and quite old. and yet i was allowed to play with them.  on the carpet. with barbie. i hope i am the kind of grandmother who dusts off the figurines and hands them to her granddaughter to play, without hesitation. like my nana metcalf.